I once read a book where a character said, “I have faith… I just want proof to back it up.” and I laughed because it sounded so much like myself.
Always willing to have faith… always willing to do the spiritual footwork to grow… but still expecting some guarantee from my Higher Power or the universe that once I did these things… the outcome would be the one I wanted.
During my divorce, I did everything to save my marriage: counseling, spiritual footwork, making difficult changes, all in hopes that my husband and I would get back together but…
That was not to be.
It was very difficult for me to hear people say things like… “Maybe your Higher Power is getting you out of your own way so that he can bring something better to you” when I was in so much despair and sure that I deserved my marriage to work out “my way” since I had put in so much time to fix it.
Well… life, unlike school, does not function like that: there is no specific formula, no amount of studying that will get me that A+ I so desire on my next big life event.
True faith is doing the spiritual footwork, giving your all, hoping for the best and then accepting the outcome even when it doesn’t seem to suit your needs.
Letting go and trusting in my Higher Power is still a bit of a struggle for me in the present… control and holding on… always my first instinct… my nature.
But the experience of my divorce has shown me that the outcome I so longed for… believed was best… was not the best outcome for me.
My Higher Power did have a much better plan on my horizon and today… my life is more than I could have ever imagined.
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“Dear God, help me to have faith in your plan. Help me to let go of specific outcomes and believe that what I need will be provided for in time.”
Daily Divorce Meditations 
This is so encouraging…I love this post…and I miss you and our talks very much! Praying for you daily:)
Love and miss you too….. I’m so proud of the spiritual leader you have become 🙂
Remember that God gives us free will. You and I can do our part, but the other person can choose their own path. That includes listening to the Holy Spirit and choosing to do God’s will. I struggled with this briefly wondering why God would not supersede what I thought was “right” and reconcile my marriage. I was reminded that God allows us to make our own choices by giving us free will and we pay the consequences of other peoples decisions.
You are so right, Michelle. I remember when I was going through my divorce one of my mentor’s kept saying… ‘God is trying to get you out of your own way’… and I was so upset with that thought… because I wanted what I wanted: for my husband to “get it” and work on our marriage. Today I see that my higher power DID get me out of my own way and that my life today is better than I could have ever imagined. I still have ups and downs… but I also have a kind and loving partner who is willing to commit to our relationship. 🙂 D.
When I read your blog your words resonate with me. We are so similar. My mentor told me for years to “duck out of the way so God could work on my spouse”. I constantly was trying to be his Holy Spirit trying get my husband to “get it”! It didn’t work!
Michelle, isn’t that funny? Same message… just different words. It was hard for me to give up on my marriage and I doubt I ever would have if he hadn’t stepped away by cheating… I would have sacrificed my whole life trying to get him to “get it.” I’m SO glad that God got me out of my own way. And so glad that God got you out of your own way too! 🙂 D.