During my divorce, I found that I had to check my motives constantly.

Sometimes my words or actions were used to manipulate or control my husband, or the situation, in hopes that I would either be able to wound him, the way I felt I had been wounded, or to fight for the outcome that I so longed for: a reconciliation.

Either way, this type of behavior, this type of motivation did not serve me well.

It kept me firmly attached to my “shadow self” reacting out of fear and despair, anger and frustration.

Today, when I choose to speak up or take action, I must first make sure that I am doing so because it is the right action for me… that my motives are clean.

If I am trying to change someone or get what I want… then maybe I should wait before I take action.

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“Dear God, help me to be honest in my motives. Help me to speak and act only when I truly feel it is in my best interest to do so.”