Sometimes, when we begin to look at our part in things, we can get caught up in blame.
I wanted to take a “fearless” look at my part in the break-up of my marriage, I wanted to learn from my mistakes and move forward, but I saw so many things that I wished I had done differently that all I did was blame myself.
I felt like such a horrible person.
How could I have done that?
Why didn’t I see what I had been doing to our relationship?
Why hadn’t I thought about apologizing or changing before our marriage had gone bad?
It was hard to accept that it was too late to take back any of my prior actions and change the outcome of the situation.
I knew divorce was inevitable.
The only way I could use this trying situation to my emotional and spiritual advantage, was to look at my part in the situation and assess what had worked in the marriage and what hadn’t.
What would I do differently the next time I was in a relationship?
What had caused me to take these actions to begin with?
How could I be more loving and kind, more present, in all of my future relationships?
I had to get past my own blame, and truly look at my part.
I had to remember that I had done the best I could at the time, and that I had never intentionally tried to cause problems in my marriage.
I had to be kind to myself and admit, that like every other human being in the world, I was capable of making errors in judgement and terrible mistakes.
If I could do this, I would be able to learn and grow from my experience.
If I just stepped back, looked at my part, and learned from the situation, I would be a better person for it.
“Dear God, help me to look at my part in the situation without blame. Help me to know that I did the best I could, with the skills I had, at the time.”