Letting go of someone or something was always difficult for me.
I would grow attached to a person, an outcome, and believe that if I just kept pushing… just kept working on it… I could make it right.
Even when I knew the person, or the situation was not in my “best interest,” I would still push forward.
I just couldn’t let go.
I would fixate on all of the time I put into a relationship.
Or all of the time I put into a goal.
All of the time I put into “fixing things,” or “getting it right” and it seemed to “Let go” would mean that all of that time was somehow now wasted.
No matter how tired, worn-out, absolutely exhausted I found myself: I wouldn’t “Let go.”
One day, my sponsor said, “You remind me of a bull-terrier when they won’t let go during a tug of war with a rope.” Then she rested her hand on my arm and said, “Let go. It’s time… just let it go.”
Letting go doesn’t mean that you “give up.”
Letting go means that you stop fighting for your outcome… you “let go” and leave the outcome to God.
I would have spent my whole life trying to make things work with my husband.
I would have spent all of my precious time trying to fix something that couldn’t be fixed.
I needed to mourn the loss of my relationship, accept that I had learned many valuable lessons along the way but, when the time came to put down the “rope,” I had to be ready to move on… and let go.
“Dear God, help me to let go of what is not working for me. Help me to accept that sometimes I don’t know what is best for me… that you do… and if I stop fighting your will, I will find a new and better way to learn, love, and live.”