One of the lessons that I learned from going through my divorce, was that if at any time, during the course of a new relationship, I felt it wasn’t working for me… I could leave.
This did not mean that I could rashly discard people from my life on a whim but… it was a way of giving myself permission to step back if I caught myself repeating old patterns of behavior with a new partner; who was too similar to my past partner in attitude and action.
The key was.. for me to look at my trust issues rationally and decide if my new partner was truly behaving in a way that was creating new trust issues or… if I was allowing my past to affect my new relationship.
If a new partner, time-and-time again, behaves in a manner that proves I cannot take their word at face value, then it is time for me to reconsider the relationship and if: it is healthy to allow this person in my life.
If I find that I am using my own fears and trust issues to scrutinize and harass my new partner and punish them for hurts against me that they did not commit, then I have a responsibility to myself, and my new partner, to work on my own issues and behave in a loving and mature manner until I am able to work through my past.
“Dear God, help me to be loving and kind. Help me to embrace and trust those around me.”