After my divorce, I did not magically move on… magically become sound and happy again. I was emotionally drained, physically worn, and spiritually lost. I had nothing to give and yet… I had to find a way to do just that: give to my children, give to my students, and find a way to once again be present in life. One day, I showed up to speak to a trusted mentor. She took one look at me and said, “Until you fill your own well, you will be unable to give yourself to others.” And she was right. How was I supposed to help someone else meet their basic needs if I was too tired and worn to meet my own? I went home and I made a list of everything that drained me emotionally, physically, and spiritually and step-by-small-step, I began to change my life. Filling my own well, meant that I took better care of myself: making time for sleep and exercise, housekeeping and bill paying, prayer and communion with trusted friends, and in this way…. my emotional, physical, and spiritual well began to fill once again and I was able, overtime, to become balanced and serene and capable of providing experience, strength and hope to those I love. – “Dear God, help me to take care of myself when I am feeling drained by the struggles of life. Help me to make choices that will result in my best emotional, physical, and spiritual health.”
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Daily Divorce Meditations 
What a wonderful post.
Relived this past year reading it!
I’m just now realizing the time that’s needed to move through things, let alone understand how to begin to heal on all levels.
Patricia! Hope you had a good fourth… I am currently “filling my well” I really over did it these last few months…. funny how you can preach it but sometimes forget to practice it! š So glad things are moving forward and you are beginning to heal.. makes me SO happy. š D.
Thanks , D!
Had a great fourth being around lots of friends and family.
Felt just the opposite of the holiday time last year.
Glad to hear you’re “filling your well! š
July the 4th was difficult for me, it is my ex’s birthday and was always a day of great celebration, we would go to firework displays and act as if all were for his birthday. It’s been a little over a year now and I have done a lot of spiritual work on myself, physical recovery from addiction, emotional recovery, and seek Gods guidance daily. However I went to the selfpity party, table for one and sat there for a short time. I saw the coda-pendency thought pattern, thanked God for the lesson,once again, and moved on with my day. it was a good fourth of july, i’m finally gaining my independace from attachment to the separation of the relationship and have Gods help to give to myself first so I can be there for family and friends. I pray that God blesses us all as we move towards independence. A big AMEN.