I’m not always good at practicing forgiveness.
It has not been easy for me to let go of a grudge, stop myself from stonewalling in a moment of intense anger, or finding myself “teaching” someone a lesson by making them “pay” for their mistakes.
I’m not proud of this part of me: this shadow self.
It has been a struggle to let go of my bitterness, my anger, over my past, and learn to forgive.
But it is imperative to my spiritual growth to do so.
My mentality of “you have hurt me… so now I will hurt you…” behavior, truly only adds to my own pain.
If I hold resentments over the past… over how I was hurt in the past… and use those resentments to punish, manipulate, and hold onto anger and despair in the present, than I am doing myself a great disservice.
I cannot choose to let go of faith, spiritual growth, and love and embrace my ego and my character flaws.
That is not the person I am today.
The person I am today must learn to forgive and let go and use my experience, strength, and hope to guide me away from the pain of my past and towards new and better actions for addressing hurt feelings in the future.
“Dear God, help me to forgive. Help me to see that we all make mistakes and help me to right my behavior when I choose to act out of ego and anger.”