I had often heard that forgiving someone was the answer to releasing your own pain… but forgiving… was not always easy.
Some of us have suffered physical and emotional abuse: an event so large, so debilitating, that our resentment builds until it consumes us.
We start acting differently; maybe choosing to stay home instead of going out, fearing that we may run into the perpetrator of our pain.
But the truth is… we become our own perpetrator of pain.
In the first months of my divorce, I was so hurt, so lost in my despair, so angry that my marriage had failed, that I could barely contain my anguish.
I would try not to lose self-control with my soon-to-be ex-husband, my children, my friends, but I was like a wounded animal, ready to bite, at any word, any action, I perceived as causing “more injury.”
The truth though… was that I was sad for my loss and angry at my spouse for causing me pain when I still held him so dear.
I was heartbroken.
Over time, as the “newness” of my pain began to cool, I was able to look at my situation, and work towards making it a better one.
One of the keys to accepting my divorce and moving through my pain, was finding forgiveness.
Finding forgiveness does not mean that we accept another’s wrong doing, it means that we accept that we cannot change what has happened.
To move forward in life, I had to let go of my anger and focus on what I could do to make the immediate future better for me and for my children.
Today, I am thankful for these painful experiences.
By walking through a difficult time I learned:
to show compassion to others in similar situations…
to let go of resentment so that I can heal myself…
and that giving it over to God… asking God to heal the wounds of my pain, led me to my true life path; one that now brings me peace and serenity.
“Dear God, help me to forgive. Help me to express loving-kindness and compassion in my day-to-day life.”