Sometimes I catch myself playing out patterns of old behavior with new partners.

Something familiar in a new partner’s tone… may trigger an unwelcome response from me, due to a bad memory from my past.

Something familiar in a new partner’s manner may remind me of a time when I was treated poorly by my former spouse.

Most often, this person has done nothing wrong… nothing to deserve my negative response and usually, this new person has no idea why I suddenly became snappy… or distant… or sullen.

It is then that I must step back from my reaction and examine my feelings, acknowledge the trigger, take a moment to explain and apologize to my new partner for my outburst and accept that the past is the past.

If I continue to react to past events in my new relationships, I will not be able to maintain a loving and kind manner which my new partner so richly deserves.

If I am unable to move through my emotions and away from the past, then maybe I am not ready to move forward in a new relationship.

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“Dear God, help me to be kind to those I love. Help me to let the past remain the past and move forward with respect to my new partner and my new relationship”

There are times in my life when I know that it is best to wait… be patient…. choose not to make a choice but there are other times I know with absolute surety that it is time to take action.

I have often felt this moment as a “gut” response.

A turning point where my mind has one vivid moment of clarity and I hear a small yet strong voice inside of me make a firm decision.

When I hear this voice, I know that it is time to take action.

When I have been weighing all of my choices…

When I have been turning over a particular problem again and again…

When I feel that I have exhausted all of my options…

It is time to listen to the voice inside of me, the surety of the moment, move forward and take action.

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“Dear God, help me to listen. Help me to be sure of the choices I make and to take action with confidence.”

Sometimes, when I am overwhelmed… I realize that I am so busy running about, that I am not taking care of myself.

Next thing I know, I’m tired and worn.

I’m not exercising, I’m not eating properly.

I’m not practicing my spiritual footwork…and what has already been too much for me to handle becomes so much more of a problem.

It is at this time that I must step back and practice self-control:

Cut back on my commitments.

Take the time to make good choices about my health.

Spend each day moving forward on my spiritual path through writing and praying.

I must exercise self-control and move away from unhealthy behavior so that I can be my best self.

Today, I choose to put “first things first” and exercise self-control so that I benefit from the rewards.

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“Dear God, help me to make good emotional and physical choices. Guide me to put first things first.”

I am reminded each day that life is a gift.

When I find myself unable to rise from a dark mood, I must remember that I do not know what tomorrow will bring, or if I will be fortunate enough to see a tomorrow.

Each day that I give of myself to others…

Each day I bring joy and happiness to my world…

Each day I choose to use empathy and compassion…

Is another day that I fulfill my obligation to myself and to others to live life to the fullest and walk my true spiritual path.

To take a moment to listen to a child tell me something important….

To help a senior who has been left on their own…

To put my own problems and trials aside to give back to my community…

Reminds me that I choose, today, to remain “all in” with those I love and care for…. and be present for those in need.

Today, I will strive for my goals…

Follow my dreams…

Give of myself…

And thank my Higher Power for giving me so much to appreciate in my day-to-day life.

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“Dear God, thank you for all you give. Help me to share my love and joy with those around me.”

When I was first out of my marriage I found the roller coaster of dating… the moments of anticipated acceptance or rejection too much to handle.

If someone expressed interest I quickly pulled away afraid of intimacy.

Yet if someone remained distant and detached, I assumed that something was wrong with me, or that I must be the problem in the relationship or that I had just lost someone wonderful and in pain and despair, would feel terribly hurt all over again.

I decided that the best thing for me to do was to wait a good amount of time, at least a year, before dating or becoming intimate with someone again.

I had been married almost twenty years, and to know what I would want in a future relationship during a time period that was punctuated with pain, despair and my mourning the loss of my marriage, would lead to me making personal choices that would be unsteady and might prove to be unacceptable over time.

I realized that I was dealing with too many emotions and that even the comfort of someone new could not replace what I had felt for my long-time spouse.

I found that though I was often lonely for a partner, the solitude that time brought to me was a gift.

I was able to heal, learn, and move forward on my spiritual path.

In that way, I became sure and ready of what I truly wanted to look for in a new relationship.

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“Dear God,  help me to embrace the solitude. Give me time to heal and the strength to move on.”

I was talking to my friend this afternoon about a conversation that had upset me.

One of our mutual friends had done something that I felt was unacceptable: something unacceptable related to me.

My friend was acting as an impromptu mediator, trying to logically help me to understand a situation that had become emotionally charged.

She spent several minutes reasoning with me, calmly helping me to look at the situation from a different point-of-view, and hoping that it would stop me from reacting.

It did.

Later that afternoon, when I met my friend, the mediator, for coffee, I looked at her and said, “You are absolutely right. I totally understand both sides of the situation now and I’m choosing to wind it down…. let it go… not react.

I realized that my friend who I believed behaved unacceptably to me, was reacting out of hurt and anger, and that if I chose to escalate the situation, I too would only be acting from my shadow self instead of choosing to react with love and faith and from a higher spiritual place.

Sometimes it is hard to back down, back away, and look at emotional situations with logic and detachment but… it is important to see all sides of a problem, look at my part in it, and then choose whether it must be discussed or if it is something I can let go.

Today I know… that this particular problem… is better released with love and prayer…. that I should accept it and differing points-of-view… and let it go.

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“Dear God, help me to act with a loving heart. When I am struggling with perspective, help me to see clearly other points-of-view.”

It is important in life to savor moments of solitude.

Solitude calms my mind and allows me to process thoughts from my day.

Often, people think of solitude as a loneliness, an isolation, a negative, but that is not solitude.

Solitude is a quiet time, where I am able to reflect, pray, think, create, without being distracted by the outside world.

Solitude comes when I walk alone in the park, enjoying the beauty of nature.

Solitude comes when I enjoy the company of a good book.

Solitude comes when I create a beautiful piece of music.

Solitude comes when I allow myself to be soothed by my own company, content with my own friendship, alone with my own thoughts.

It rejuvenates me and revives me.

It helps me to gain perspective when I have lost my way, and provides relief from the chatter of the outside world.

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“Dear God, thank you for bringing me the quiet moments in my day. Thank you for the solitude that brings calm to my life.”

It is a great feeling to wake up in the morning full of joy, excited about the day ahead.

It is important to stop and acknowledge these moments of pure happiness and to celebrate all that the day will bring.

Often, I dwell on the melancholy of time… lingering in a beautiful moment… while focusing on the inevitable fact: that this too shall end… that this too shall pass.

Today, I choose to stay in the day…

I choose to let joy fill me entirely and keep my head in my happiness.

Today, I choose to step away from my problems and allow my spirit to soar.

I choose to live in joy, I choose to celebrate my life.

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“Dear God, help me to celebrate all that I have been given. Help me to see the joy in the littlest things, the smallest of moments.”

There are times when I want something so badly that I will force the timing.

I try to rush through activities to get a moment with a beloved friend.

I drop everything and change direction in a matter of seconds.

I check my phone or my email in hopes that I have been contacted regarding something I am longing for.

But… I have found that when I do force the timing, I often end up regretting it.

I find that my expectations are so high, that the actual event can’t meet my needs.

It’s wonderful to be so excited about specific people or opportunities but I must keep my balance so that I am able to manage down my expectations.

I must learn to wait for the time when I can really savior and enjoy the company of a good friend or an exciting event, instead of pushing it to happen at an inopportune moment, due to my impatience and inability to… wait.

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“Dear God, help me to know when to seize the moment and when to wait. Help me to be patient when the timing does not fit the occasion.”

I have found that during times of great despair, when I feel that all hope is lost, when my faith has left me, that giving my love and compassion to others restores my spirits and provides me with a sense of emotional stability.

In the past, I often became so entangled in my own problems, so obsessed with my own pain, my own struggles, that I did not stop to look and see how others could benefit from what I had been given throughout my life.

I have been blessed with many gifts.

If I choose to dwell in my pain, if I choose to live in despair, I am not walking the spiritual path my Higher Power has planned for me.

By showing compassion,

Passing on knowledge to others,

And giving of myself,

I am choosing to walk in hope.

I am choosing to embrace faith,

And I am helping others to move forward on their spiritual paths and out of their own despair.

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“Dear God, help me to be compassionate to others. Help me to share my experience, strength and hope with those in need.”